Chikni Chameli-Alternate Lyrics

Isk ki beer ka, ye badan to bas chakna hai.......(chakna=complimentary snack)
Iski garmi me hai asli,maal usko bhi chakhna re

Bijli se jaldi ,tujhko jannat dikhane aayi
Isko chakh ke tu jaldi bhaag,
kyunki Munna hai mera bhaaai

Ayi chikni chameli,bikni pehen,Udaane teri kamai--4 times



Rangeen sham ka jaam hun pyaare
Aaisi masti chadhadungi mai
Dil se bhi gehre sagar me dubki lagwadungi mai

Banjar dilon me chaahat ki fasloon ko ugati hun mai
Khanjar jaise is jisam  se hi unko kaatungi  mai

Agneepath ka mai trailer hun,
Nashe ki retailer hun

Agneepath ka mai trailer hun,
Nashe ki retailer hun
Mujh se khud ko sek le jaraa

Khud ke-hi bukhaaron ka,mai paara chadhane aayi
Tere jaise-2 hazaaron ke,mai baara bajaane aayi


Ayi chikni chameli,bikni pehen,Udaane teri kamai--4 times 


Mere tirchi nazroon pe ,bol bacchan bhi hakla hai
Meri khushboo ko chakh ke,jungli sher bhi ab bakra hai

Is Dirty Picture ka,Abla parda uthaane aayi
Teri dil ke beaton ka,husni tabla bajaane aayi

Ayi chikni chameli,bikni pehen,Udaane teri kamai--4 times 

Impossible

How to state whether a particular task is possible or not?It is simple to prove that it is possible.How?Do it.
If you want to prove that it is impossible,first you have to give your 100% and fail.Only then you can say that it is impossible.But the moment you say this,you have proved that you have not given your 100%.Because giving 100% excludes you from accepting failure.
This shows that it is not possible to prove the impossibility of a task.
      Everybody knows the time value of money but one has to understand that time is the biggest asset,not money.You have to consider the time value of time too.The more time you have spent the more is the value of each succeeding moment.For example in an objective exam,the last second bubble is almost priceless. If you don't understand the value of this asset(i.e time)  then you are it's liability.And there is nobody who doesn't want to get rid of their liabilities,especially not time.So instead of saying "it is impossible", why don't you rather prove otherwise?It is more likely that you will succeed.

Anna RAP

Not to be sold,Ought to be told
Story of this brave 74 year old

Served the army,now saving the nation
name is a craze on every radio station

Na koi gandhi na hai ye jinnah
anna hai naya itihaas ka panna

Koi sirf banata muddon par filme
badlaav vahi layega jiske kranti ho dil me
Aisi thi power us atma ke Will me
Pahunch gae saikdon samarthak unse milne

Na gaddi ka lalach,na khyati apne naam ki
anna ne to bas itni si mang ki
ki rehne do salamat bharat maa ki bindiya
mat banao bharat ko current team india

Par wo log kahan anna ki baat ko maante
Corruption unki daulat hai ye baat jaante

They were already rich,even then they stole cash
May be their assholes are bigger than our whole ass

But they cant break us coz we are not gonna bow
The pH of my blood is close to unity now

This war against corruption is not an auction
Hiding or fencesitting here is not an option

Either you are out or you are in
there is no room for recycle bin

They had their way enough,its time to go down
Those clowns can't hide anymore in Sonia's gown

Unhone socha kya ukhadegi ye janta aam
Khud ko samajh rahe the wo badam
Na jaane kya kya tarike aajmaye
par aam ki iss guthli ko na nigal paye

Anna ke anshan ne uda di unki bhook
dekho kaise palat raha takdir ka ye rookh

Anna ki andhi Jan lokpal bill ne
bhaga dia DK Bose Sarkar ko bill me

Aj ek hazare,kal hazaron honge anna
nichod diye jayenge apraadhi jaise ganna

Agar dil me koi kranti ho dost,to zara jigar bhi dikhaiye
Sirf tempo se kuch nahi hota,Beep me dum bhi hona chahie

The Internship Story

"Ab dobaara maa ka doodh piyunga" were my first words when i got an internship at Mother Dairy @ Gandhinagar,although it never really happened.
Since the brand Amul is so popular my expectations were humongous.The working hours started from 9 so i reported 15 minutes early on my first day to make a good first impression.To my surprise i was asked to sit on the sofa and wait.After an hour i enquired about my status and i was told to relax till the procedure was done.At lunch time it was told "tumhara kaam ho raha hai " and 5  they said "kal se Ice Cream plant me aa jana ".On the first day itself i realized how good place IIT Kgp is.
I wasn't expecting anything worth happening in the next 8 weeks of internship only to realize that things don't happen by expecting.Soon i observed that the purpose of taking interns here was the shortage of labourers.The trainees were asked to do what labourers do-from packing to filling.They said that by this we will get a first on experience on how the production is done.I didn't protest as i needed the Certi and i couldn't have got internship elsewhere.
The temperature in the ice cream plant was around 20 and outside it was hot over 40.The process of going inside was like human pasteurization.Here the labourers are treated like slaves.They have to work for 8 hours and their wages per hour are even less than the legal drinking age.The main reason for this situation was the lack of unity among the workers.The situation is analogous to India against Corruption.

Apart from tiresome moments there were peaceful and nail-biting moments too.Since we handled Ice Creams,we had the opportunity to eat them(of course not legally).We used to go to a place where there were no cameras.And like an overconfident thief we thought that we were invincible.But surprise surprise-whenever something can go wrong,it does-Murphy's Law.I was almost dismissed from training.They also accused me of doing "chumma chaati" with a co-intern.I don't know from what angle they saw us but my mouth was definitely enjoying the layers of Sundae.And the girl was not even hot.Just because i am a Kgpian doesn't mean i am a despo.
Good or Bad it doesn't matter now.What matters is that it is over and i am over it.

Khoya Khoya Chand Song Spoof-Aya Aya Don

Aya Aya Don , khaike...banaras ka paan Picture super-hit ho jaegi Chammak challo jo naach dikhaegi ..o ho. ho ...Aya Aya Don ------1 Filmon ki.... hai dheemi gati .... filmon ki hai dheemi gati...slow and steady hai jeet ki kadi, box office pe aag jo lagi to usko to bujhao ..o ho ..ho .. Aya Aya Don .... .....1 Billu ki.. hajamat hui ..... billu ki hajamat hui....lekin  rab ki jodi chali .... MNIK ne matki phodi to tum bhi aazmaalo ..oho ho... ye hai baadshah ...  laakhon dilon kaa..... dushman ki bas ek hai galti.... dushman hai iska...wo yahi ...oho.... Aya Aya Don ........ .....1 Sitare chale.... director dare sitare chale director dare iske ek ishare pe... chaaro taraf bauchaare pade...isko tum pehchano oho...ho... Aya aya Don ...chodke Rom-Com Police ab bhi na dhund payegiii..... Maa behen  unify ho jaegi oho.....Aya Aya Don  ... ,,,1

Exam Rap

You have paper and pen
     gotta pay per second
spent
    wont come again
ten
minutes have past
you don't know what
to write,you got one shot
sweat on your forehead
are tears you ain't shed
lesson you ain't learnt
lessened your hard word
wish you worked harder
you know you are smarter
this ain't no garden
piss ain't fertilizer
what is the point now
how to regain time
there is no answer
what a disaster
life is a bitch
but you ain't its master
apart from wishing you studied in time
spitting this shit in your empty mind


Why do i cry now,why didn't i try
treated every class like a lullaby
there is only sigh now and a goodbye
can only wait for my tears to dry



Life ain't your tantrum
you are pubic dandruff
feeling like worthless
coz you don't know shit
neither a lead,nor even a sidekick
you are a spotboy in superflop flick
there is no outfit to hide your sorrow
nor slight hope for better tomorrow
even a sparrow is luckier than you
it can fly sky high,you can't be rescued
there is no excuse for this situation
you got screwed by your invitation
you are a patient,there is no doctor
have to be patient,healer is within you
treat every moment like it is brand new
         and past wont last unless you let it
convert tears in work and try to sweat it
try to make most gain
from this hour old pain
and i promise you won't say this again



Why do i cry now,why didn't i try
treated every class like a lullaby
there is only sigh now and a goodbye
can only wait for my tears to dry

Singham(song) Spoof -Chewing-gum

Try humming only after hearing the original song

Daant tod na paye
Dil chod na paye
Juban fisal jaye
Lalchaaye.....Chin-gum

Aag jala na paye
fridge jama na paye
koi bacha na paye
(gale me)Atak jaaye Chin-gum

Tarike se fulaao to gubbaara ban jaaye
Juice iska khatam ho jae to kursi pe chipka de
Chipka dega bum
isme hai thoda gum
kehte hain ise Chin-gum

Daant tod na paye
Dil chod na paye
Juban fisal jaye
Lalchaaye.....Chin-gum

Aag jala na paye
fridge jama na paye
koi bacha na paye
atak jaaye Chin-gum

Kiraane ki dukaan pe Chutte me mil jaaye
Inflation chahe jitna ho ek rupaye me aaaye
Koi bhi sakta kharid
Ameer ho ya Garib
Saccha ho ya Ram-lingam ......

Hook lyrics

Anti-Intoxication Rap

Injurious to health and wealth,with a warning on its label
Why are you wasting time when your mind is so stable

Its a slow poison,making you slow
but it kills faster than sex kills a hoe
Its destroying your body from head to toe
then why are you puffing 6 packs in a row

It consumes 2 mins and deducts 5 from your life
why don't you rather have sex with your wife

Taking you to higher world,thats just a myth
That world is a Matrix and every cigar is a smith

You are just a sucker while cigarette smokes itself
if you just control it ain't gonna light itself

and Alcohol is fake,more dangerous than Osama
it will make you an agent Mahone stuck in Panama
If you hate yourself then enjoy your shot
You will get cancer and have to pee a lot

and CLASSIC ain't a classic and beer is a lie
we don't need Magic Moments to get high
Have milk instead and wank off every night
you will get higher and have 24-7 delight

I don't need ethanol nor i need a pill
look at me getting high at my will
Coz my way is one way ,it ain't has no junction
even infinity is not my maxima,i am a tan function

TEAM INDIA RAP

This is team INDIA beating the odds,
Winning the games and setting records

Sachin is confident and Sehwag is fit
he treats every ball like its a free hit

We have a balanced pair of Kohli and Gambhir
While Munaf is as good as southpaw Zaheer

With a middle order of Dhoni and Yuvi
more dangerous than radiations of UV

King of the spin Bhajji is essential
while the smile of Sreesanth was just vestigial

On the field we are agile like a snake
we can make a mountain look like a cake

We lost the toss and had some bad luck
but we were destined to win the world cup

It was a team effort and everybody was equal
and if this rap works I am writing a sequel

Wanna criticize,save it for other time
dude this is a rap not a nursery rhyme

Some say i am a clown and think me as a trash can
perhaps they should see what Joker did to Batman

SACHIN RAP

His name is Sachin,born with a bat,
             not to defend but to attack

              From the helmet to the pads
he plays for the nation not for the ads

                   Be it Akhtar or Bret lee
he hits the ball where no one can see


It doesn't matter how is the crease
he has worked hard to bat with ease

His height is low but morals are high
which clearly shows his no of allies

Be it one day or a test
he is GOD but still modest

Outside the ground he does charity
    but on the pitch he defies gravity

He thinks with his brains not with his junk
             In his class even Warne will flunk

             He is consistent like a sage
with an average greater than his age

Learn from Sachin,through the tons he has made
Its not about the luck but success is Pre-paid